Why I Compose (Part 2)

Time and again I ask myself, how is it possible? Why do I write music while others do not? Is it genetic? Or is it because of my cultural background and my exposure to music since before I was born? I think it is a mixture of culture and genetics, but it is deeper than that.
When I write music, I feel as if I am capturing a part of my life, my emotions, my feelings and my life experiences, and in a sense, converting those experiences into sound. Music is the most abstract of the arts. As Stokowsi said, "A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence." Unlike language, music has no direct meaning. If I say one word by itself, such as apple, one can visualize a picture of an apple, the taste of the apple, how it smells etc. But If I take one note, a G flat on a piano, that doesn't mean anything to me.
It is the combination of the notes that means something. Why that is? It's a mystery in itself. Various people have tried to explain music through music theory and analysis in which the music is broken down into its individual components; melody harmony, counterpoint, etc, but this method falls short of explaining what real music is, because music in its original form is something heard, not seen as in music theory. A person does not have to read music to have a connection with the music. A person has to listen.
According to the author, Lee K. Abbot, following our traditions is a fundamental step in the writing process. He says, "We all feel, less and more, the obligation we have to our fathers, to our mothers, to all folks linked by biology or not who have raised us… We write, beginner and professional alike, because, though half-frightened, we want to know what is in the trunks and lockers we lug forward through time, what vital secrets they can be sprung up to reveal" (128). This "obligation" that writers and musicians alike have is a very elusive thing. What I think it means is out of our respect for our life-line and our desire to understand the world in the most personal way we can, we listen to the rhythm of our forefathers, and from that listening develops the inspiration that we use for creation.
As well as address the question of tradition, Abbot discusses the stark contrast between the story and the reality, "In Fiction, given its unities and shape and its epiphanies, I comprehend my father… In life, however- which, messy and improbable and ephemeral, is not good fiction- I had no idea what made his world spin round and round" (129). What I find so remarkable about this quote is that I feel I could have written it myself! I have lost count of how many times music has helped me to understand and come to terms with the world and my personal life. In many ways, I feel that only through music can I truly express my view of the world, that only through the clink on the piano can I truly accept how the world goes round.